The first relationship we will address is the one with your Hufe. Your hufe is a word derived from the first two letters of “husband” and the last two letters of “wife”. This is the person that all of your hopeless romantic dreams are about. That one person who you cannot wait to have step into your life so that you can love forever and for always. For those afraid of ending up alone, it is the person that you fear you will never meet.
The number one rule when it comes to creating your Hufe list is that you can never picture someone in your head while you create it. Ruins the whole darn thing. Don’t think of your boy band crush or Ryan Gosling – DON’T! Think of what truly makes your soul happy. You can not picture anybody specific in your head, not when you create the list and not every time that you think back to the list and the goals it represents. With only 10 points, the Hufe list is a boiled down version of about 25% of the world (I made that statistic up but I can see it being completely applicable).
Are you ready to create yours?
Think of 15 potential Hufe’s that you have either dated, gone on dates with, oogled at from a far, or at least “talked” too. Write them down on a piece of paper. List 3 physical characteristic that you find physically appealing about them.
Rewrite this list of physical attributes onto a separate piece of paper. Throw away the first one (or burn it if that’s the way you act), you don’t need to think of those 15 people ever again. Look back at your second list, do you see a theme?
What is one physical attribute that you could not live without? What do you want to see staring at you as soon as the doors open up and the wedding march beings to play?
Write it down; that is your #1 on the Hufe list.
This second bullet is going to be something that can be inferred about a potential Hufe but can only be proven via documentation. Confused? Completely understandable, let me explain: Bullet point #2 on my list is “older”. Would you know that someone is older just by looking at them? Probably, I will concede that, but not always. A guarantee way to see if someone is older is by checking their drivers license, birth certificate, social security number, you know – whatever you can get your hands on!
For you, bullet point #2 could be anything! Be creative but stay true to you, that’s the most important part of this list after all! Money? Good job? A specific license? Great family? The list is endless!
This point is going to be very different than the first two points. It is something that you cannot bear to see yourself settling for for the rest of your life. That’s right, ladies and gentleman, think of what you don’t want for this bullet! This could be the potential Hufe’s religion, taste in lifestyle, sexual tendencies, you name it, put it down here.
Still having troubles figuring this out? This is the one word, phrase or comment that Ryan Reynolds could say that would make you absolutely rethink every romantic thought that you have ever had about him. This could be something that you have known your whole life or you quite simply learned it from a specific ex.
Now that you have your TOP 3 (oh my gosh you did it!) on your own, personal Hufe list, you get to learn the next two rules of it.
- These are the only three things that a guy, a gal or any random person or friend will ever know off of this list.
- Any potential Hufe that you ever start talking too must meet 2 of these 3 Hufe Points.
Don’t be all offended over there!
I know you are mad that you just went to all of that work to set the building blocks of the Hufe list and I told you that your potential Hufe doesn’t even have to meet one of those requirements. It would be great if they met all your requirements but the interesting thing about love is that you will concede more than you would ever think possible for it.
Free for all! Fill out the following attributes without any rules by me, just your own opinion!
Remember, don’t think of a specific person, think of attributes that want when you…
- ….introduce the Hufe to your most important family members.
- … look down that long aisle on your wedding day.
- … think of who you want by your side when the married life gets tough.
- … think of who you want to be there when you are 70 and potentially a little senile.
- … think of the kind of person you are terrified of forgetting at the age of 90.
Number 10 on the Hufe list is going to be given to you by yours truly, a blogger who has never met you. Before you freak out and say something like, “You don’t know me!” just listen. You yourself do not even know what Hufe List #10 is because your future Hufe is going to tell you. When you finally meet them they are going to have something that you would never ever have seriously considered and THAT is what makes them perfect for you.
Your Hufe List is now completed!!!
Your personal Hufe List is now completed! Make a vision board, decorate it with doodle and graffiti in your diary, do SOMETHING special with it! This should be something that you are genuinely proud of, put it away somewhere safe, and think about it often. Think about it when you are feeling low about your love life, think about when you need to remind yourself about why you are holding yourself to such high respect.
One of the biggest things with relationships is that you need to love yourself enough as an individual that you know you could be alone for the rest of your life and still be happy. Why? Because you truly understand yourself and you won’t settle for anything less because you shouldn’t!